My Own Self-Leadership Story
And How I Came to Be a Coach
The Past
On a recent discovery call (August 2022), I was asked about my background, and how it led me to my current day practice as a self-leadership coach. Getting to this point in my ‘second’ career has been a journey - a series of developments. However, responding to the question most recently, it really struck me how I have come full circle over these past seven years, and how coherent my path now looks, even though along the way it felt like a rollercoaster that, I’ll admit, I sometimes wanted to get off.
It all began in late 2012. Even though I had a very pleasant existence working in the EU public sector in Italy at the time, I was getting itchy feet and craving more independence, variety and stimulation in my work. Also, I just couldn’t face the idea of driving the same road to work for the next 30 years. It terrified me.
In addition, my academic background is in language and communication - I have a Master’s in Discourse and Argumentation Studies, and I wasn’t really using those skills.
Eventually, after a career break in 2013, a three-month solo trip around the US, and a few other life-changing decisions in 2014, I took the leap in 2015 and left my job, my relationship and Italy behind. That leap was neither a joyous nor easy move, but a heart and gut-wrenching break-up from life as I knew it, and to this day, the hardest thing I’ve done.
Later that year I moved to Mexico (not part of the initial plan and a story for another day), and started slowly building my portfolio of communication services, which back then included language teaching, editing, writing and translating. These were things I enjoyed, I was good at, and more directly related to my background. While they gave me experience running my own business, I was still not answering my true calling.
By 2017 though, I finally felt that I had built enough experience and confidence to begin offering communication coaching/training. As I suspected, I loved it and I was good at it. I had found my sweet spot, and after a few years I wanted to expand my practice. During lockdown in 2020, I upskilled and got my diploma and accreditation as a Personal, Leadership and Executive Coach. In doing so, I happily discovered that there was a real overlap between that diploma and my earlier studies.
Now I enthusiastically combine my skills and training as a self-leadership and communication coach.
Why self-leadership though?
Good question - a few things led me here.
The Present
One: During my executive leadership coaching studies, I kept having this recurring thought: Yes, it’s great to be a skilled leader for your team in the workplace, we need more of those. And wouldn’t it be amazing if we could also be that leader to ourselves outside of the workplace, in our own lives? We really need more of that.
How many leaders are actually using these easily transferable skills (such as communication, resilience, and trust building) to support themselves through growth and success in their personal lives?
How many of their partners and families (in addition to their teams) are benefitting from such skills?
Suddenly, leadership of oneself (self-leadership) became so much more pertinent for me and my vision as a coach.
~~~~
Two: When I first began expanding from solely communication coaching to personal coaching, I didn’t niche down in any way, because I simply wanted to gain as much experience as possible at that point. I coached women mostly, from all backgrounds and experiences. Yet, I was repeatedly hearing the same message.
They described themselves as not having any direction, needing more balance and self-knowledge, feeling like a passenger in life, lost, spiralling and stuck. Some were craving change, but couldn’t identify what that should be. Others had experienced unwanted change and then didn’t recognise themselves in this unfamiliar territory.
After going on a coaching journey with a few of these women, I was able to identify the tools that were effective in getting them back into the driver’s seat of life and into a space of wellbeing, and positive direction. This led me to develop my own Know-Own-Claim methodology for self-leadership which is now my flagship offering.
~~~~
Three: Self-leadership is a concept that is particularly important for me because it reflects my own journey. I stopped following the safe, conventional path of public sector employment and the happily ever after that was laid out before me, and I dared to lead myself into the unknown. The things that I have counted on to support me on this journey are a combination of communication and other modern leadership skills. And I have not got it all right by any means. However, I fear to think of where I’d be if I didn’t have those tools. Those are the tools that I lean on especially when things aren’t going well. We will inevitably have to go through things we’d rather not. The point is not to avoid them, but to come out the other end.
We are seeing increasingly in the corporate world that leadership skills are becoming more inclusive of all the qualities of a team and its members, including their personal differences and vulnerabilities.
Progress is not just linear, and good leadership takes account of that. A team is not successful if it reaches its targets but all its members are burnt out. The same goes for our personal lives. There is no point in ticking off all the boxes: career, family, financial goals, etc. at the expense of our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. What kind of a life is that? Who are we living it for?
My idea of self-leadership is personal growth and progress, balanced with and supported by the integral wellbeing of oneself. Wellbeing first, growth next, because it’s harder to grow a plant in arid, nutrient-deficient soil.
The Future
While I talk about self-leadership a lot, communication is the foundation of my practice. I think of communication holistically. Everything you do or don’t do is communicating something about yourself - through your posture, your gestures, your appearance, your words or silence, your action or inaction, your energy. Therefore, how we communicate is actually a way of life. We can do it intentionally with the best result in mind or we can do it passively, mindlessly, and hope for the best. Empowered, intentional communication is in its essence, assertive. In my opinion, assertiveness is one of life’s most underrated and misunderstood skills and I want to change that.
My contribution to that is my coaching and training programme - Potent Presence: Powerful Communication Skills for a Drama-Free Life. It aims to re-educate on the minsuderstood communication skill of assertiveness, and how it serves us all when we adopt an assertive way of life. As a self-leader, it is paramount to every step you take on your path.
The Know-Own-Claim: Self-Leadership in Your 40s programme helps individuals reclaim their voice and direction, so that they can finally fulfill their ambitions and check off their bucket list, from a place of balance and wellness.
If you’d like to read more about self-leadership and who I work with, check out my article: Feeling Lost at 40? There’s a Reasonable Explanation
If you’d like to discuss how I can help you with self-leadership or powerful communication, book a discovery call.
If anything you have read today resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Get in touch: siobhan@siobhangallagher.co